Reclaiming Myself: How Mindfulness Helped Me Rebuild From Rock Bottom

This year has taken more out of me than I ever expected. I’ve lost jobs, roles, titles, routines, and more than once I’ve lost sight of myself in the process. Somewhere between surviving and striving, I realized it was time to reclaim something deeper — my time, my peace, and my sanity.

The tool I turned back to is one that first came into my life more than a decade ago: mindfulness.

Back in 2010–2011, I was still learning how to take care of my mental health. Things were rough. I was a single mom, barely holding on, feeling like lost potential. I was living on Section 8, hadn’t gone back to college yet, and every day felt like proof that the odds weren’t in my favor. The breaking point came with a personal incident that landed me in therapy. That’s where I was introduced to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and mindfulness.

At first, mindfulness didn’t feel like a grand revelation. It felt like survival. The practice of slowing down, breathing, noticing what was happening inside my body when the world outside felt unbearable — it gave me a foothold. I didn’t have language for it then, but it became the cornerstone of rebuilding my life.

It was mindfulness that steadied me enough to go back to school. Mindfulness that helped me show up as a better mom when the weight of everything threatened to crush me. Mindfulness that helped me climb from minimum wage in subsidized housing to becoming an executive in less than ten years.

These cards — the Mindfulness on the Go deck by Dr. Jan Chozen Bays — have been sitting quietly on my shelf for years. I bought them in a season when I was hungry for tools, and then, like so many things, they got tucked away. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to use them intentionally. But maybe the timing is right.

I’m in a season now where I’ve clamped down on buying new things. Instead, I’m trying to use what I have, to sit with what’s already in my hands. These cards are one of those tools. Each week, I’ll choose a card — sometimes randomly, sometimes intentionally — and let it guide me. I’ll sit with it, write about it, live with it, and share what unfolds.

This isn’t about expertise. I’m not a guru. It’s about practice. Presence. The slow, imperfect work of noticing. My hope is that by sharing, you’ll not only glimpse how mindfulness plays out in my life — in real time, in messy transitions — but maybe you’ll also find resonance in your own story.

This week, I chose the card Notice Dislike. I picked it on purpose, because resentment had been living in my chest like an unwelcome guest. The timing couldn’t have been more honest.

If that sounds familiar — if you’ve ever felt weighed down by memories you didn’t ask to carry, or anger you couldn’t quite shake — then come with me on this journey.

🔗 You can also view the full Mindfulness in the Middle video series on TikTok, where I talk through each card and show how mindfulness plays out in real time in my life:
👉 Watch on TikTok