I didn’t want to start here. Not with resentment. Not with dislike. But if I’m honest, it was the theme of my entire week.
Last week I was restless, emotional, and haunted by intrusive thoughts and flashbacks. PTSD has a way of creeping in at the worst times. I had a big interview, and in the days leading up to it, I could barely settle myself. It wasn’t just nerves. It was the weight of workplace trauma — old wounds resurfacing — making me fear what might come next.
I know that fear well. The fear that what happened before will happen again. That despite all my work, all my progress, I’ll still end up back at square one.
By the time the interview came, I was simmering with resentment. Angry at people who had watched me suffer. Angry at how easily others seemed to move forward while I carried memories I didn’t ask for. Angry at trauma that keeps recycling itself through my body. Childhood trauma. Relationship trauma. Workplace trauma. Car accidents. Loss. Everywhere I turn: trauma.
When I look back on that week, I see how quickly dislike multiplies. How one unprocessed emotion can echo across every corner of your life. It cost me. I don’t think I did well in the interview. It took days to calm down, to stage my house, light candles, and carve out moments of peace. Slowly, through stillness, phone calls with my mom, my son, my best friend, I started to feel loved again.
And that’s the lesson. Anger doesn’t dissolve through more anger. It dissolves when love is poured into the cracks.
Noticing dislike wasn’t easy. But it showed me something: when emotions go unacknowledged, they find another way to speak. They can hijack your body, your choices, your voice. Last week, I didn’t manage my emotions well. But I learned. I was reminded of the reservoir I can always return to: love, ritual, grounding.
The card for next week is Loving-Kindness for the Body. I’m ready to shift from noticing my anger to practicing gentleness.
🔗 Watch how this played out in real time on TikTok:
👉 Mindfulness in the Middle Series
These are practices I use in my own life. They're not therapy or medical advice. If you're in crisis, call or text 988.