Prevention is infrastructure

Thought

Prevention is infrastructure

I never lost a life on my watch at the pool. In community safety work, I saw dozens lost. The difference wasn't courage. It was infrastructure.

That's the thread through this week's posts: every safe kid I've known had an adult and a place to be, and people never asked me for a unit. They asked for a home near the bus, the school and the job. I heard that in the affordable housing strategy sessions I facilitated in 2025, and this year the plan was adopted.

It's also why I was at Ripples of Hope last month, No More Under's benefit, celebrating seven years of saving lives. Who learns to swim in this country was shaped by who was allowed in the water. That was designed, so it can be redesigned. Drowning in Silence, the film I'm in, is streaming on Apple TV. Watch it, share it, and book the swim lessons.

What is a board's real job?

Care, loyalty and obedience: the three duties every board member signs up for, whether they know it or not.

The question came up again and again at the 4Culture Network of Support mixer. ToyBox joined the Network for 2026, helping King County cultural organizations build capacity. What the Network is

New at ToyBox

Four posts a week, built around the questions decision makers bring us: hiring that sticks past 90 days, a creative company whose trust didn't turn into revenue, and why the quiet meeting isn't the aligned one.

Also new: a free Operational Health Check. Ten minutes of yes-or-no questions across governance, finance, people, programs and technology.

Take the health check → · Read the blog →

Client spotlight

Space Between

Every Space Between meeting opens with a sit: a few quiet minutes to clear our minds before we share space together.

For 10 years they've brought mindfulness and wellbeing practices into schools. Their in-person celebration was cancelled this year, but you can still support the work: their online silent auction is open now, with 11 items from entertainment to gift cards and services, and bidding closes Friday, October 30 at noon. You can also donate to their Joy in Presence campaign.

Bid in the auction → · Donate

Taste

SZND: four years of basil

My first real harvest went into a big pan of penne pesto for my water polo team in 2021.

Summer 2025 was my best basil year ever, and it started with sick basil starts I bought at 50 percent off. Four weeks later the plants were bigger than the planter, and that harvest became my Cajun pesto: steak and pesto pasta, garden to table. If you've never grown anything, start with basil starts, even the ones on the clearance rack. What are you growing? Hit reply.

Honorable mention for football season: deviled eggs. 🏈 Game day calls for them. Last Thanksgiving my son made his first batch and carried the tray to the table himself, and shout-out to my aunt, uncle and cousins in Arizona: I have to have their deviled eggs every time I go. How do you top yours?

Get the recipes → · Get the Cajun pesto → · Next up: lattice apple pie.

Lipstick on My Fork: Hilltop Red Apple

Four lip prints, and no lipstick left.

The fried catfish in the hot case is worth the drive to Beacon Hill. It's also a Sunday-after-church memory with my mom.

Back at Primo's. In case you were wondering how much I like Primo's from last week's review: I was there again Friday night for dinner with friends. I didn't try anything new. Still in love with the ceviche and the house salad. Shout-out to their staff for the complimentary champagne toast. 🥂

Read the reviews →

Last week's answers

Guess the spot: Hilltop Red Apple

First to guess it: @thareal2mill. "Red Apple duh." 💋

Thursday's teaser was a close-up of fried catfish in a hot case, and it took one comment to crack it. You know your catfish.

@thareal2mill, this one's for you: if you're reading this on my site and you're not on the list yet, subscribe, so every Monday you see who cracked the last one. Everybody else, the new teaser drops Thursday. Bring your best guess.

Subscribe to Thought, Taste & Presence →

Presence

If you were graded in cursive

At Comic-Con, my son and I picked out new pens at the same table, and we were taught to use them completely differently.

I learned to type on my mom's typewriter, her college graduation gift. Now I talk to my phone and it types for me, and AI fixes my sentence before I finish it. Shout-out to my mom and her red pen. What were you taught was non-negotiable that doesn't matter anymore? Hit reply.

Our Husky journey

Update: my son was granted a full year of tuition, loan-free, through UW's undergraduate grant program. Won't He do it?! 🤯👏

Transfer students start behind on financial aid, and we found out the hard way. I'm so thankful my kiddo gets to bear the fruit of his labor through such an amazing gesture. If you're a transfer family still working through aid, hit reply. I'll share what we learned.

3 years later

My son and me in 2023, the night I took him to his first concert, Armand Hammer at Neumos. And now, as a caricature from my cousin India's wedding last month. Same smiles, more beard.

Mindfulness in the Middle: this week's sit

A guided visualization: a picture, slow enough that your mind settles into it.

Picture a cup of tea you made recently. Watch the steam rise and thin out as it meets the air. Feel the warmth through the cup in your hands. Now watch the steam slow and the surface go still. Take a deep breath in. And a deep breath out.

Inspired by the Space Between board.

Coming up

• Thu 10/22 · Guess the spot. A new Lipstick on My Fork teaser drops Thursday, and the first correct guess gets a shout-out here next week.
• Now through Nov 30 · Cal Bonner's "Creation Over Elimination", a solo exhibition at Colman Commons, 811 1st Ave, Seattle. Details
• Fri 10/30, noon · Space Between's auction closes. Last call to bid. Bid
• Fri 10/30 · A Space Inside Open Mic, a BIPOC-centered open mic at Colman Commons, every final Friday. Details
• Sat 10/31 · EQUALUX, GSBA's Halloween gala at The Westin Seattle, benefiting the GSBA Scholarship & Education Fund. Details
• Fri 11/6 · Coming Home, Hilton Bellevue, celebrating the women of The Sophia Way. I serve on the board. Get a ticket
• Now streaming · Drowning in Silence on Apple TV. I'm in the film. Watch

Off the clock

Onyx called it. 🐾 The other night, little Onyx was so uneasy and clingy that I said out loud, "I hope we're not about to have an earthquake." He didn't settle down until way after 2 a.m. Then there was an earthquake near us in Snoqualmie. Do your pets ever know something before you do?

Two Seahawks losses in one week. Damn it, Sam! 💙💚 The interceptions got me, and I could not believe we went into overtime. I don't know the most about football, but I'm fairly athletic, and the offensive line has some work to do. It also makes me wonder: does the quarterback who wins us a Super Bowl get some kind of curse that keeps them from bringing home another one? Still riding with them.

Monopoly is back at McDonald's, and I've been playing since high school. What grinds my gears: last year you could get free plays online, and this year the only free way in is by mail. Still playing. The game runs through November 1, and you can enter codes in the app until November 22. What's your strategy?

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One more thing

Out the Box, ToyBox's monthly letter, starts Wednesday, November 4. Subscribe

See you next Monday,
Katoya